Sunday, July 28, 2013

Official Beer, Bags and BBQ Posters

As you know from our July 7th blog article, we are hosting a Beer, Bags and Barbeque outing August 10th in the Peoria, Illinois area at Ravina on the Lakes. At that time, I promised to show you the official posters for the event including the Central Illinois Cruisers car Cruise In that we are hosting there. Here they are :






There have been some minor changes since our last posting so I included the rest of July 7th article with the changes highlighted in yellow.


Here's what has been planned:

Date: Saturday, August 10, 2013
Place: Ravina on the Lakes 


Activities: 
         Food 5pm-8pm, 
         Bags Tournament 3pm-9pm,
         Classic Car Cruisin' 4pm-8pm, 
         Family Fishing 4pm-8pm (Bring your own tackle, bait  
         will be provided),
         Music by Southern Cross 7pm-9:30pm

Meal Serving Time: 5:00-8:00

Meal Cost: 
         $25 per person, 
         $12.50 for children 5-12, 
          Children under 4 free
Meal: 

         Hickory Smoked Pulled Pork,
         Corn on the Cob, 
         Cole Slaw, 
         Chips, 
         Fresh Cantaloupe, 
         Watermelon, 
         Cookies, 
         Iced Tea and Lemonade 

Cash Bar: 4:00-10:00 

Bags Tournament (Recreational):

         Registration starts from 3pm to 3:45
         Reading of rules starts at 3:45
         Competition starts at 4pm goes til 9pm

         Double elimination
         $40 per team (2 person teams)
         Prize Money:
             1st  -  $250
             2nd - $150
             3rd  -   $75
             4th  -   $25 


Bag Toss Drawing For Prizes: 
        Eight Bags for $10 
        Three prizes in the drawing valued at $100 each
        Each bag in the hole gets into the drawing
        
You must be present to win 

Music by The Southern Cross 7:00-9:30

To Register: www.BeerBagsBBQ.com  
Or Call: 309-688-5450 
The web site should be avail by Tuesday 7/9.

We are still in need of volunteers to help with the event. If you are interested in helping out, here is the list of positions that need filled. If one of these interest you, call 309-688-5450.

Volunteer positions available and number of volunteers needed:
        Bags Tournament Registration - 2 people 
        Master of Ceremonies - 1 person
        Set-Up - 4 people
        Reporting Table -  2 people
        Bag Toss - 4 people
        Preparation on Friday, shuck sweetcorn - 4 people
        Car Parking - 4 people
        Meal ticket purchase - 2 people
        Ice Cream Stand - 3 people
        Family Fishing -  2 people + Chuck Gabbert 
        General - 6 people

Sign up..Register..Come out..Hope to see you there
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To get there: 
The address is 5326 W Charter Oak Rd. Take War Memorial Drive (Route 150) west to where it intersects with Charter Oak Road and Allen Road and turn left onto Charter Oak Road. Follow Charter Oak Rd and go under the Interstate 6 overpass and it should be coming up on the left.  







































































Sunday, July 21, 2013

Caregiving: The guilt was killing me!


Yet another fine article written by Monica Vest Wheeler, and originally posted on her blog. She has given me permission to reproduce it here on this blog. Monica's blog is titled "Turning empathy into action" and can be reached using this link:  http://monicavestwheeler.blogspot.com/  

She mostly writes about many different types of brain injuries and diseases, such as Alzheimer's, and occasionally writes one about stroke. She has published numerous books. According to her blog heading, Monica "...explores how we can lift ourselves and others by turning empathy into action … and the importance of the art of compassion in dealing with Alzheimer's, stroke, brain injuries and other life challenges." Monica is best known for her work on the Help ME Cope & Survive book series: http://www.monicavestwheeler.com/

Monica is also a very active volunteer for Retreat & Refresh Stroke Camp and arguably our best camp photographer. 

I hope you enjoy her writing and visit her blog. And be sure to browse her archived articles, too.
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by Monica Vest Wheeler

Guilt is one of those power words that brings down governments and sends children into hiding.

No, I didn't commit a capital crime or break something. I just felt this overwhelming guilt for deciding to leave town for a couple of days to see family and friends and interview stroke survivors and caregivers. I felt guilty for being away from my dad-in-law for more than a day.

I've been with Pepaw almost every day for two months since we brought him here to live in Peoria so we could take care of him. I did take Monday and Wednesday off this week, and yet Thursday, as I picked him up from bowling and attended the Alzheimer's support group meeting with him, guilt began to sweep me for not being here for him this weekend.

Caregiver guilt: it's a killer.

I gave myself the same pep talk I give other caregivers when I speak to groups: you've got to take time for yourself or you're of no use to anyone.

The caregiver inside me shouted: what a crock of you-know-what! Shame on you for ABANDONING your father-in-law! Tsk tsk tsk!

I know I'm a Gemini, but these two voices were about to deafen me.

Here's the first debate:

• My husband will reassure me that NOBODY can take care of his dad as well as me. What a smart, smart man I married.

• But I have to let someone else fill in and learn the ropes of the everyday stuff. This is the weekend my son needs to have some one-on-one time with his grandpa so that Pepaw doesn't forget who he is.

Here's the second debate:

• I need to make sure he's out doing stuff HE wants to do every day.

• Hey, Pepaw is probably trying to find a polite way to say, "Hey, I need a vacation. I want to watch TV all day."

And there are a dozen more arguments that are trying to hold me captive.

I now realize the source of and solution to my guilt: love.

In two months, I've truly fallen in love with this man. I'm closer now to him than at any other time in the 36 years we've known each other, including the last 31 as his daughter-in-law. Sure, I'd given him hugs when we'd see each other after long separations and when it was time to say goodbye. Now I give him a hug every day I see him because he's become very special to me, more than just my dad-in-law.

I tell him every time I see him that I love him. And he tells me the same.

I care about his everyday life and want to be sure he eats properly and gets his medication. I've endured uncomfortable nights in a rocker-recliner so I could be close by during his first nights in new places, so that he wouldn't be confused or lost or unable to find his way to the bathroom at 3 a.m. I've helped him shower and made sure he had clean clothes. I've taken him to doctors' appointments and tried to ask all the right questions so he gets the best care. I've sat in bowling alleys and bought him cigarettes.

And just like every caring caregiver I've ever met, I do it because I love him. I want him to be happy, healthy, comfortable and pain-free. This is what we do for our loved ones. Hence, the name.

My guilt is now eased by the knowledge that I will come back after a few days away refreshed and more alert to meet his ongoing needs. That is how I will become a better caregiver by giving myself some care.

And by golly, I'm worth it! Pepaw tells me so!

Written by Monica Vest Wheeler


Monica Vest Wheeler www.alzhelpbook.com
Blog http://monicavestwheeler.blogspot.com/
Turning Empathy into Action
Find me now on Facebook
And on Twitter http://twitter.com/alzheimersbook
Phone 1-309-682-8851
Phone toll-free 1-877-267-4640
Fax toll-free 1-877-636-0634
info@copeandsurvive.com
P.O. Box 276
Peoria, IL 61650-0276

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Heather, Lily and Hope

This weeks article might seem a bit out of place for a Stroke blog since it deals with cancer but, really, when you think about it, a caregiver is a caregiver is a caregiver regardless of why. The patience, work, hopes and devotion required are the same. 

Here is a letter I received recently from a man named Cameron. He wanted to share his experiences with us and I wholeheartedly welcome them. I feel certain you will, too.  

Here's his letter, followed by his story:Hi,

I came across your blog and really identified with a lot of your writing. My name is Cameron Von St. James and I was thrown into the role of caregiver when my wife, Heather was diagnosed with a very rare and deadly cancer called mesothelioma, just three months after the birth of our only child. We were initially told that she could have less than 15 months to live, but she was able to defy the odds and eventually beat the cancer. During her treatment, I had to learn quickly to be an effective caregiver, and there were many times when I became overwhelmed by the role, but we managed to fight through it together.

I was wondering if you would allow me to write an article about my caregiving experience for your blog? I know that this cancer isn't necessarily the focus of your blog, but I think that caregivers for any sort of illness often face many of the same challenges. A positive, uplifting story about overcoming illness of any kind can be a huge help to caregivers when they're facing a challenge! I'd love to share this message with your readers who might take something away from it. Please let me know if you’d be interested in seeing and sharing an article about our story.

Thanks so much for your help!

Cameron
*****************
Here is Cameron's and Heather's story:

On November 21, 2005, my wife Heather and I had our entire lives shook to their very foundation because, on that day, she was diagnosed with malignantpleural mesothelioma, a very serious form of cancer.  It's also the day I took on the role of caregiver, a role I never thought I'd have to assume, and a role I was in no way prepared for. Just three months prior to this devastating news, we'd been celebrating the birth of our only child, our precious daughter Lily. We were heading into the holiday season, and joyfully anticipating Lily's first Christmas, when everything started falling apart.

The realization of what I could expect as a caregiver began to set in even as we were leaving the doctor's office right after he broke the news to us. He advised us to seek the advice of a specialist, and gave us numerous options in that regard; the local university hospital, a regional hospital with a great reputation, but lacking a mesothelioma program, or a mesothelioma specialist in Boston called Dr. Sugarbaker. We quickly picked option three, and could only pray that this specialist would save her.

The next two months passed in a chaotic blur. Prior to Heather's diagnosis, we both had jobs and set schedules, that was now a thing of the past.  Heather was unable to work at all, and I was only able to manage part-time hours. Between doctor appointments, traveling to Boston and caring for Lily, I gradually began to feel overwhelmed and helpless.  Anxiety that I would end up a penniless widower raising Lily alone began to creep in and over-take my thoughts. There were times when I would curl up on the floor and cry like a baby.  But never, ever, when Heather could hear or see.  I had to be strong for Heather.  That was my mission.  That was my purpose.  This sense of responsibility got me through these rough moments, and I resolved to be there for her no matter what.

Our saving grace was love and support from family, friends, and even strangers. The best bit of advice I can offer to anyone in our same situation is that if someone offers you any kind of help - take it. Don't be shy or too proud. It's one more thing off your very full plate. It will also serve as a much needed reminder that you and your loved one are not alone. You have family and friends who care about you and are willing to lend a helping hand if you ask them.  Don't be afraid to ask them.  You'll probably be surprised how eager people will be to pitch in - even if all you need is to vent for a few minutes. Learn to say yes to help without feeling ashamed.  Asking for help in times of distress is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Being a caregiver for someone who is seriously ill is a tough job. There's no point trying to sugar-coat it. It's very hard to deal with that kind of stress, uncertainty and anxiety on a daily basis. The fact is, this could be the hardest challenge you ever face in your entire life. You're going to experience times where it's very hard to resist being swept away by emotions like fear and anger.  It's extremely tempting to wonder, "Why me?" It's also very easy to ruminate on the unfairness of life, and to ponder how others walk around totally healthy while your loved one suffers. Don't beat yourself up for this, but don't let these emotions take you over. Its important to stay hopeful no matter what – hope is the most powerful weapon against despair.

It took years for Heather and I to return to a normal life, but we did. After mesotheliomasurgery, radiation and chemotherapy, she beat mesothelioma and is celebrating seven years cancer free.

Being a caregiver taught me many valuable lessons during my wife's journey. I found that accepting help from those around you should not be seen as a sign of weakness, but as the ability to accept love from those around you. Being a caregiver for a loved one taught me to advocate for a loved one in ways I'd never thought were possible for me previously, which also led to me learning how to manage my time and stress levels more constructively. When Heather's health improved, I returned to college, earning a degree which would have been much more difficult previously, as I lacked the necessary skills that being a caregiver provided me.  Most importantly, I learned the incredible healing power of hope.  Never give up hope, and you may find that you and your loved one are capable of accomplishing more than you ever imagined was possible.

************************************************************************************
Thanks for sharing that Cameron. One of the most important things a caregiver can learn is that they are not alone. There are others going through the same things and if we can connect somehow the road can get a little easier. 

One of the many things we do during our weekend Stroke camps is set aside time for caregivers to meet with each other and share their experiences and the ways they cope. Separately, the stroke survivors get together, too, and share their experiences as best as they can.  
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Sunday, July 7, 2013

Beer, Bags and Barbeque August 10, 2013

Good news, everyone! We are hosting a Beer, Bags and Barbeque outing August 10th in the Peoria, Illinois area at Ravina on the Lakes. In a couple weeks, I'll display on this blog, the official posters for the event and the car Cruise In. 

To get there: 
The address is 5326 W Charter Oak Rd. Take War Memorial Drive (Route 150) west to where it intersects with Charter Oak Road and Allen Road and turn onto Charter Oak Road. If you're heading toward the new mall it's a left turn. If your heading from the new mall it's a right turn. Follow Charter Oak Rd and go under the Interstate 6 overpass and it should be coming up on the left.  

Here's what has been planned so far:

Date: Saturday, August 10, 2013
Place: Ravina on the Lakes 


Activities: 
         Food, 
         Bags Tournament
         Classic Car Cruisin' 4pm-8pm, 
         Family Fishing 4pm-8pm (Bring your own tackle, bait  
         will be provided) 
         Music by Southern Cross 

Meal Serving Time: 5:00-8:00

Meal Cost: 
         $25 per person, 
         $12.50 for children 5-12, 
          Children under 4 free
Meal: 

         Hickory Smoked Pulled Pork,
         Corn on the Cob, 
         Cole Slaw, 
         Chips, 
         Fresh Cantaloupe, 
         Watermelon, 
         Cookies, 
         Iced Tea and Lemonade 

Cash Bar: 4:00-10:00 

Bags Tournament (Recreational):

         Registration starts from 3pm to 3:45
         Reading of rules starts at 3:45
         Competition starts at 4pm goes til 9pm

         Double elimination
         $40 per team (2 person teams)
         Prize Money:
             1st  -  $250
             2nd - $150
             3rd  -   $75
             4th  -   $25 


Bag Toss Drawing For Prizes: 
        Eight Bags for $10 
        Three prizes in the drawing valued at $100 each
        Each bag in the hole gets into the drawing
        
You must be present to win 

To Register: www.BeerBagsBBQ.com  
Or Call: 309-688-5450 
The web site should be avail by Tuesday 7/9.

We are still in need of volunteers to help with the event. If you are interested in helping out, here is the list of positions that need filled. If one of these interest you, call 309-688-5450.

Volunteer positions available and number of volunteers needed:
        Bags Tournament Registration - 2 people 
        Master of Ceremonies - 1 person
        Set-Up - 4 people
        Reporting Table -  2 people
        Bag Toss - 4 people
        Preparation on Friday, shuck sweetcorn - 4 people
        Car Parking - 4 people
        Meal ticket purchase - 2 people
        Ice Cream Stand - 3 people
        Family Fishing -  2 people + Chuck Gabbert 
        General - 6 people

Sign up..Register..Come out..Hope to see you there
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