Sunday, May 31, 2020

The Juggling Caregiver


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The Juggling Caregiver 

By Claudia R Warner 
I'm Juggling as Fast as I Can...

June has arrived and outdoor activity is calling---the lawn needs mowing, flowers should be planted, the vegetable garden is ready for care, and some plants must be divided or they will cease to grow. Meanwhile, the house still has to be cleaned, laundry done, plus cooking and other tasks are there to do no matter what the season. And, of course the biggest job of all---caregiving to my significant other.

I fear that I am guilty of neglecting him sometimes in my rush to get out in the sun and fresh air. Digging, planting, and spending time on the lawn tractor are all wonderful therapies for me. Therein lies the conflict—do I spend more time indoors with Wes, or go out and get a good dose of nature? Hopefully, doing so makes me a better caregiver, but I do feel guilty about leaving him in the house.

He hasn’t been enthusiastic about helping me with the outdoor work—even after I got a neat little bench for him to sit on while doing a bit of weeding. The special weeding tool (guaranteed to be easy to use while seated) didn’t entice him either. The anti-gravity reclining patio chair didn’t get used, even after I bribed him with a homemade frozen latte’ to drink while relaxing in the chair.

The only solution to this dilemma was to have him supervise me from the deck or patio. Thank goodness, he does this willingly. It is nice to have him there, giving me “pointers”. Who knows, perhaps one of these days he will decide to water the flowers or even tackle a weed or two!

Father’s Day is the 21st of this month and all Dads deserve to be recognized. There are so many gifts that stroke survivors can enjoy—guys do enjoy receiving flowers and plants. How about a book or a book on tape? Jigsaw puzzles can become a family activity and the interaction and attention given to your loved one helps their self-esteem. DVD’s are another gift that can involve others. Or take Dad for a leisurely ride in a park.

The best Father’s day gift for both of us was an engraved plastic name badge. Wes has severe aphasia and while he is very outgoing and doesn’t hesitate to visit with people, there were times when this really became stressful for me. We have always been active—going to events, movies, out for coffee or lunch, etc. I noticed that people would ask him a question and when he couldn’t respond, they treated him as if he had low mentality (which is definitely NOT the case here!).

This resulted in both of us being uncomfortable. Also, I was concerned about what would happen if we were shopping, for example, and I left him to go to the restroom and he either wandered off or someone tried to engage in conversation with him. WELL—the solution to this was so-o-o easy and inexpensive that I could hardly believe it! Engraved name badges!

I purchased them online from an office supply store! (I do a lot of shopping online as it is so easy.) I got 2 of them, so we would always be able to locate one. These come in many different sizes and colors. Plus, you customize them with your own words and logos. I selected 2” X 3” dark colored backgrounds with white lettering. Since he had been an avid chess player, a chess piece was a good logo for him. There are literally thousands of designs to choose from, or you can use your own logo. They arrived in less than a week and the cost was under $18 for each badge!

His badge reads:

Wes Warner
I understand you
but it is hard
For me to talk.

You can’t imagine what a difference this has made! People read the badge and realize that he comprehends what they are saying and treat him as a person. Many of them smile and comment that sometimes they have trouble finding the right words, too! This relaxes Wes and he is able to say more than when he is tense. It is surprising to me that so many people will stop, read the badge, and then engage Wes in a short conversation. This does both of us a world of good. Yep, this is a great gift for you, too. One less thing to juggle during your busy days!

Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. ~Reed Markham
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